The Urban Dictionary.com definition for Burn a Bridge: "cut off all ties in a relationship. When you burn a bridge you can't cross it again. To burn a bridge means to be completely done with something."
You see, the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy, and the enemy has continued to tempt me for 4 years to get me to come back to my old way of life. For the last year, I have had numerous temptations (more than I can count) where I wanted to drink, or use pain medication as a way to smooth things over. I mostly resisted those temptations, and continued to turn to God each time. I can definitely say that it has been a serious battle.
There was one time about one month ago that I had a drink, by complete accident. Someone offered me something, but the name was not alcoholic, so I said "sure." I realized part of the way into it that it was alcohol, but that didn't stop me. I finished the one drink. Then in San Diego, I ended up having one drink. You see, I'd heard from a Christian blogger/pastor that said it was okay for Christians to drink, but not get drunk. So me, being a recovered alcoholic, said "well he says its okay, it must be okay." While in San Diego I got to read my bible a lot. I then read a scripture that Paul talks of not eating or drinking of anything that might cause another to stumble. I was then convicted that if I were to cause someone to stumble, that would be on me. I'd even heard of Christians that I know that drink, and I will admit, I struggled with that. I couldn't understand how they could, but I couldn't. It frustrated me. I made the decision that I would not drink again because I do not ever want to cause someone to stumble — I don't care who says its okay for a Christian to drink — its not okay for me to drink.
I'd also struggled with pain pills in the past, and after I had been seriously ill this year they had given me pain medication. My old man thought I should just get some more because I'll be honest, I liked the way it initially felt. Reality came back, and I realized that it was simply a lie straight from the pit of hell, and I resisted.
So the dream, the Lord was saying finally that the bridge to my old life is now burned down, and I am never going back to that old way of life. Thank you Lord. When I came back to the Lord it was quite difficult at times to not go running back to old ways of thinking and coping, and the old man in me wanted to rear its ugly head quite often. I am believing that once and for all, those old things that I used to battle and struggle against are gone forever (alcohol, pain pills, sex addiction, porn addiction, Internet addiction, love addiction, romance addiction, relationship addiction, co-dependence) are gone forever — once and for all, never to darken my door step again.
I know that there are other (different) things that the Lord will have me work on at some point, and I know this is not the end of my journey, but it is definitely an end to a very long season of testing and trying. I am thankful for the test, but thankful that this one is over.
Heb 13:8 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."