Friends

Prov 17:17 “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

 

Matt 6:14-15  “ For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

 

Does anyone else have difficulty with women friends?  I do.  I'll be honest.  Now, I have many women friends that I don't have difficulty with at all, and I am so thankful for them.  Then there are those who call you all the time and you think everything is fine and dandy, and then they fall off the planet and don't call at all and ignore you when they see you at church.  What is that?  I try to talk to them, and ask what is wrong, and instead its put onto me like this is all my issue and they don't know what I'm talking about.  Or better yet, when they go behind your back and say something, and you then try to do the biblical thing and discuss it with them, but they won't talk to you, and then avoid you every time they see you.  I don't get that either. 

 

I have a couple of women who come to mind when I think of this, and I'm sure you do too, and for the life of me I don't get it.  I'll be honest, it hurts my heart.  It hurts my heart when I see it happening to others.  It makes no sense.  It says in God's word that none of us is any better than the other, so why then?  Is it competition?  Jealousy?  Envy?  Why can't we as women (especially Christian women) not do that to each other?  I remember before I knew the Lord, I used to behave that way, so I get it in that respect.  I even see my daughters dealing with it with their friends in middle school and high school.   Interestingly, I don't see the boys having to deal with that.

 

One thing that it is teaching me is about forgiveness, and while its hard at times it has caused such a great love and acceptance to be instilled into my heart, and for that I am grateful.  It also causes me to reach out to the one I see being ignored or shunned for whatever reason that may be. 

 

Anyways, I had to get this off my chest, and I hope that it will cause all of us women to not do this to people who are supposed to be our friends.  Truly.  We are sisters in Christ.

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Author: Michele C.

First and foremost I am a Believer in Jesus Christ, the Son of God. I am a wife, a Mom, a young budding writer, and entrepreneur.

16 thoughts on “Friends”

  1. It's a girl thing. 🙂 It sounds to me like you are a friendly person and blessed to have friends who call you. But for sure, this is to be expected among women. Remember Paul's words in Philippians?
    I implore Euodia and I implore Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. And I urge you also, true companion, help these women who labored with me in the gospel… Philippians 4:2-3
    Don't be surprised at it, just expect it and pray that God will give you love, joy, peace, etc. and do your best as you are doing.
    I still remember when I was in elementary school and a friend would get mad at me and I thought it was all over forever. Then the next day they would get glad again. Just keep smiling and being friendly. Sometimes people back off when something is going on in their own lives and they just need space.

  2. Thank you for that word — I appreciate it — as always! I understand backing off from all people when things go on, but when they back off from just me and are kind and nice to everyone around me — doesn't make sense, but yes, I pray for forgiveness, love, joy and peace — all good — and am so thankful for those friends who love me at all times! So wonderful!

  3. Dear Lord, I pray for Michele and the hurt she is experiencing among her friends. I pray that you will give her wisdom when to speak and when to wait. Please work in the heart of that woman and heal her hurts and convict her of any wrong attitude. Give Michele a double portion of your Spirit tonight.
    Amen

  4. O.K. Michele..Where they at? I'll get'm….It will be just like Sinco Dimio…All those Pinyatas… Hey…It's not me is it? Cause if it is, I'll hang myself from the ceiling and beat myself. I love you.

  5. Oh, Michele, how I relate!! I experienced it in the 6/th grade, and I didn't understand it then. I've experienced it fairly recently, and I still don't understand it. I've tried to help my daughters cope gracefully with it. I do realize that it's a girl thing, and though I was a girl, I just know I never did that, and it is Not All girls who do this. Those who do will repeat the process over and over. I sense a malicious nature in them, and yes, forgiveness is the only way to cope. The flaw is in them, not in those who are snubbed. "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do."Meg, you seem like a wonderful friend to have, so right now, I'm making you my friend, too!!

  6. Ruth – so good — yes "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." I've been talking to my sister (blood sister), and she experiences it also. We both began praying that the Lord would bring good, true friends to us — and my sister has seen answer to prayer, and I've even seen answer to prayer. These other "friends" have basically gone away, and the Lord has replaced them with some wonderful, godly women who are amazing. That's why I say I'm so thankful for the ones He has blessed me with. I still just don't understand the others. I write about this to bring attention to it so that women, if you are the one doing it, stop doing it! We are all sisters in Christ! Do as Christ tells us to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself." I guess there's the key — if you don't love yourself, then you do the same to your neighbor. Wow. Ruth, I love your poems! They are awesome!

  7. The most recent experience I had was a little bit ago. Well, it wasn't exactly like what you wrote about, but similar. I could sense that a dear friend of about 6 years and I start growing apart. I made every attempt to get together and keep us together amidst our busyness of life and such. Then she gave me a letter telling me that she wasn't all that busy. But the free time that she did have, she wanted to spend it with other women who were in the same stage of life as her – married w/ children (I'm married w/ no kids). She wrote that she doesn't understand my phase of life. She said she would still like to "catch up" if we saw each other in church. I wrote her a letter back (and we talked on the phone) letting her know how hurt I was. She asked for my forgiveness for lying to me about not being busy and I told her that I did indeed forgive her, but it didn't mean that I still wasn't deeply hurt. But our friendship has forever changed. We're pleasant at church, but we'll never have that level of intimacy that close friends share. I still don't understand. I'm not angry or mad, but just very hurt. Hurt because it wasn't something I did, but someone I am. But I am so thankful to the Lord for the true, sister-like friends who have been around through all our different stages of life.

  8. Thanks, Michele. I forgot to write 'unknown' at the last one, because I didn't write that one, but it helps me to remember to leave Him in control of my life. Love you, Michele.

  9. Thank you ruth — they are beautiful and I always look forward to reading them. Are some of them your own works? I love writing poetry, just haven't had the guts yet to put it out where others can read it — maybe now is the time?! 🙂 Love you too Ruth!

  10. I'm so glad you wrote in too — that has to hurt because your situation really isn't something that can change, well, it can, but you know what I mean. Sad. I'm glad you have others around you also. I'm so glad I added you to my "friends" list because I enjoy reading your stuff too. Blessings to you today Michelle. 🙂

  11. I always sign my name to mine, and acknowledge another author. It was years before I would share them. Most of them seemed to bare too much of my heart, but I have not been able to write for some years now. My best ones were in a notebook that was recently lost. I'm still hoping to find it. Thank you so much for your encouragement Michele!! You Are a Blessing!!!

  12. Well Michele, thank you for bringing this up, I must admit I have not had too much trouble in that area when it comes to friends, but when it comes to family, now that for some reason is another story, I know there's a scripture for that somewhere.
    I really don't understand it, but there is alot of judgement and disreguard for what others are going through in my immediate family. I really have no idea why, I can only guess they are afraid something might be asked or expected of them and it causes them to become resentful, resentful that it might interupt "their" busy lives. By acting out it puts the attention back on them, you know as Joyce Meyers puts it "what about me, what about me?" We can only love and forgive and hope for the same.
    Michele, know that friends come in all strengths, good and casual and sometimes they are put in our lives just for a season or maybe it's we who are put into theirs, by adding a Godly perspective I look at it as in all relationships we are here to learn from on another. Thank you for being "My" friend today! I LOVE YOU BUNCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. Thank you Patti! I love you too — I believe that the Lord is doing some serious teaching right now, and I'm trying to be a patient pupil, but not always easy. Thank you for being "my" friend today too!

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