Friends – Part 2

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:  10.  If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" 

Prov. 18:24 "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

I've heard the statement made along the lines that maybe this person was my friend for just a "season."  (Sorry Laurie, I saw this on yours, and brought back a memory.)  I had a friend say that to me a couple of months back to my face, that maybe our friendship was just for a season.  I don't understand that.  Do friends do that when it gets uncomfortable, or there is a little abrasiveness, and that is the easy way out?  Oh, yours was just a friendship for a season, see ya later.  Keep in mind, I've made the choice to forgive, but I still don't understand it, so hence my question. 

The two people in my life who have stuck with me closer than a brother has been my own mother and sister.  I am so blessed beyond measure for their friendship.  I consider them both my best friends.  Yes, there have been times of difficulty over the years, and like many families (or friends) we could have chosen to opt out, but we pressed on through to a new level of intimacy and friendship, and I'm so grateful for them both. 

I think that many people look at friendships as disposable.  If the going gets tough, the tough get going.  See ya on down the road Jack — too difficult, so see ya!  I think in a world of McDonalds, fax machines, email, credit cards, instant gratification society, we look at friendships much the same way.  It makes me so sad that we have gotten to that point. 

Now keep in mind, the Lord has blessed me with some absolutely amazing friendships, and I'm so grateful for them.  So grateful that they don't just abandon me at the slightest twinge of uncomfortableness, but instead press on through with me no matter what.  I had one friend, about 4 years ago, that we had a disagreement, and I kept trying to sort it through with her.  I was very non-confrontational, and wanted to work through the misunderstanding.  She simply wouldn't return my calls.  My comment was that if we can't handle this minor disagreement, this could forever shape our friendship, and how things are handled.  Needless to say, that was several years ago, and she still to this day won't talk to me about it, and it did forever shape our friendship. 

These moments have taught me much though, and for that I am grateful.  Its taught me how to NOT be, and its taught me on how TO be.  So, in a sense, I should be very thankful.  So, maybe friendships can be for a season, but we shouldn't look at them that way for the easy way out.

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Author: Michele C.

First and foremost I am a Believer in Jesus Christ, the Son of God. I am a wife, a Mom, a young budding writer, and entrepreneur.

8 thoughts on “Friends – Part 2”

  1. Excellent blog!!! I can relate. I am not sure where but somewhere I heard our friends would be few and the path would be narrow??? I may have thet wrong?. I have no real friends other than my family. I have come to terms with that . I have a hard time even praying for seasonal friends.Seasonal Friends are usually users that when you have nothing else to offer them They find new seasons to use up and play with.:) But I guess we are suppose to forgive huh.. Just remember in the end God knows who has a real heart and who has a manipulative heart and who is just plain evil.

  2. I don't think we ever intentionally set out to have a friendship ( a real friendship) just for a season, anymore than we do the other relationships in our lives, family, marriages etc., but that doesn't stop others from viewing things through the foggy lenses of the world where lines of what's acceptable behavior and what's not are often blurred.
    I know when I was much younger I never could understand how families ever get to that point where one member of one's family stops speaking to another. A friend of mines inlaws were like that, her mother-in-law and her sister had not spoken in 15 years over something that just seemed, well, totally silly to me, but than that very thing happened years later in my own family! Shocking, yes, but now I understand, a little bit about why, there is alot of emotion at play here, usually beginning with hurt, than there becomes a need to be heard and maybe a lack of understanding, than it gets blown out of proportion to the point no one even really knows what the offense is anymore and after that for whatever other emotion, maybe pride, there becomes the need to be right, and it's all for what purpose??? All foolishness for what it costs a family, a friendship or a marriage when all of it could be avoided through the simple act of forgiveness, I say simple for some, but not for most because it takes two for forgiveness to work. Forgiveness cannot be a one way street, in order for it to work one must forgive and the other must receive it, just like God forgives us but if we don't receive it what good does it do? I'd like to believe when one extends an olive branch that instantly it would make things all better but we humans are complex creatures and don't always appreciate the grace we have been given.
    I guess Michele what I am trying to say is, all we really can do is ask for forgivenes when it is called for and even sometimes when it is not and if one chooses not to receive it, well as the old saying goes "you can lead a horse to water , but you can't make him drink" comes to mind.
    Sometimes we do have those, for the lack of a better term, "seasonal" friends and yes, even though maybe they didn't turn out the way we would have liked, for whatever reason, if you go back and look closely at those relationships there was a lesson there to be learned for both of you and just maybe it was forgiveness…..h-m-m-m I don't know I'm just ramblin again. Love you!

  3. This is such a timely post for me this morning. Some of us are better at cultivating friendships than others, and it sounds to me like God has given you this gift of caring and wanting to invest in other people.
    Your comment about your mother and sister reminds me that our best friends should be our family members, and yet many people are just as willing to throw away those relationships as well.
    I think you should continue to pursue this subject in your posts. I am sure you are touching many hearts.

  4. Thank you for your encouragement — the Lord has me in this process for a reason — one of them being learning about forgiveness and truly loving people as He loves us. Thank you for your kind words — glad this touched your heart. I'll keep pursuing it!

  5. Part 2: OK Michele, I woke up this morning with this on my heart, I didn't expect to turn my comments into posts, but I guess since I am not really blogging right now your posts have given me this outlet, so here goes:
    First, as God is working in you He is also working in those who are needing the same, only specific to them, be it problems in areas of unforgiveness, condemnation, judgementalness, envy, selfishness, the list goes on and on. This does not excuse those who are rude, disrespectful, dishonorable or those who just plain make us feel bad, for those are things they need to work out with the Lord, their actions should not be our concern as much as our reactions to their actions. I think of it as a barometer by which we have to tell us what we need to work on, like you said Michele, these experiences are a very good lesson in how we don't want to be, but instead of how we want to be, which is more like Jesus. If this wasn't an important teaching for us God would not have put "Love your neighbor as yourself", second to "Love your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind", He obviously knew we would have a hard time with this one! But as I read that scripture, I also don't see anywhere where He tells us we need to be best friends with these people or that they need to be best friends with us or for that matter that we need to even like these people! Luke 6:31 says, "do to others as you would have them do to you", continue to love them, what challenge is it to love those who already love us back, but to still be able to love those who in our flesh treat us bad is not easy, but that seems to be our test. If you love those who love you what credit is that, Luke 6:32-36, being kind to the "ungrateful and wicked" is not easy to do, but it is what we should all be striving for and is what is expected of us as Christians, but as in all things learned, it is a process.

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