Psalms 62:1-2 “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” Ps. 62:5-6 “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. Ps. 62:7-8 “My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. "Selah"
Last night I was spending time with my Lord, and He gave me Psalms 62:8 to read. So I backed up after reading that scripture and read the entirety of Psalms 62. So comforting. You see, this last year has been challenging in so many ways. Friendships gained, lost, ministry gone, family, illness, work, betrayal, hurt. The one I haven't spoken of much is the illness part. I still don't know what to put, but its something I've been dealing with since before I came back to the Lord in 2004, and am now back to facing it to find out what is wrong. I saw another specialist today, and the scriptures the Lord gave me last night gave me the courage to proceed forward to see this doctor. I liked him. He spent almost an hour with me, and listened to everything. He didn't make me feel like I was crazy. He didn't make me feel like I was making it up. He did tell me he didn't know yet, but now begins the process of more tests. Today, I am okay with it. I just want to get to the bottom of it once and for all.
Several months back, I confided in someone I thought I could trust, and their response to me was "buck up" and basically told me I didn't have enough faith and that was why I hadn't been healed yet. Whoa. Hey, thanks for that tid bit of advice, next time keep it to yourself. God's word says I need to have faith the size of a mustard seed — I've got that. So why isn't my body healed yet? I don't know. I've searched. I've talked. I've prayed. I've read scriptures over myself, etc. Nothing changes. What I've realized, however, is that through this journey I've met people I probably wouldn't have gotten to meet before. I have gotten the opportunity to witness to so many people along this journey, and I praise God for that. I got the opportunity to pray with one of my doctors. How cool is that!? That wouldn't have happened if my health was good and all was well.
Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
I continue to praise and thank the Lord through this journey — I continue to pray for healing. I pray for His strength, His purpose, His wisdom, His mercy. God just use me. He is so good to me, and I am so blessed in so many other ways that I hate to even complain about this one little issue. I mean, really.
Reading the book of Job has helped tremendously. I will post more on my thoughts on that later, but the funny thing is that Job's friends thought that they had this tremendous insight into why Job was going through what he was going through, and they didn't have a clue!
So why am I sharing this? Because I am requesting prayer for this journey that I am on — healing first and foremost, but wisdom for me and the doctors — wisdom to know what to do. That I would not get discouraged. Strength. Courage. Boldness to speak about Jesus wherever I go. Thanks muchas!
Oh yah, if you're going to tell me to have more faith, or to pray harder, or anything along those lines, please feel free to keep that to yourself. :-) If you want to be with me on this journey to just be there to encourage, please feel free, but if you think the Lord has given you special insight into why I'm sick (but He hasn't told me yet), again, please keep that to yourself. May the Lord bless you in 2009!